Bought a nice pink Talbot's cardigan sweater the other day; it's cute! Also bought a pair of Nine & Co. black knee-high boots- I didn't own a pair, and I've seen a lot of women wearing knee-high boots recently. Call it shopping therapy if you want but I have been on somewhat of a shopping spree the last several months; I needed to update my wardrobe as is, plus some of my pre-cancer items no longer fit (too big; I've lost, and kept off, a lil weight! :) See? I'm not always Miss Serious And Deep!

Brief health report: re. the cancer itself I'm still doing and feeling fine, wouldn't know I had it if I didn't know. But the chemo-induced neuropathy has gotten more pronounced, and annoying. They did take me off of the drug that primarily causes it (and I went a lot longer on that drug than many colon cancer patients apparently) but it will take time to begin to dissipate. It's like a numbness, a lessened sensitivity, in my fingertips and toes; makes typing, even buttoning or zipping something or tying shoes, opening things, etc... a lil difficult. But considering the alternative... :) Other than that I feel fine- still running indoors dammit but the am temps should start to moderate soon enuf and I can hit the pavement again- yay!

What I'm Reading Now: Citizen Somerville: Growing Up with the Winter Hill Gang, Bobby Martini and Elayne Keratsis

News of note...
Cynthia Nixon: Bald and gay by choice, bisexual by birth Sadly, many self-appointed/self-annointed "leaders" of Big Gay came down on her hard- no dissent from the orthodoxy shall be allowed (and many of these are the same people who bleat about tolerance and "embracing diversity...")
A Gay Time at JCPenney I think the Moms are wrong. Ellen DeGeneres is an American citizen. She has committed no crime. If she wants to promote equality for gays or gay marriage, that is her constitutional right. She should not be dismissed from anything... So let's leave Ellen alone and allow the marketplace to dictate exactly what Americans believe is worthy. That is the American way. Witch hunting against certain people and groups is not. Fair and balanced from Bill O'Reilly.
Male and Female Behavior Deconstructed Hormones shape our bodies, make us fertile, excite our most basic urges, and as scientists have known for years, they govern the behaviors that separate men from women. But how? Now a team of scientists at the University of California, San Francisco (UCSF) has uncovered many genes influenced by the male and female sex hormones testosterone and estrogen that, in turn, govern several specific types of male and female behaviors in mice.
Making Peace With The Past Worth a quick look.
Sports Illustrated’s swimsuit issue shines spotlight on Olympians Motivation to get in shape...

My favorite Whitney Houston song:

A loss.

GO PATS !!!

Got a rockin' haircut last week- my gal Alyson does fantastic work, even working with my hair! Slowly but surely I am beginning to make/take more "me" time than I have in, well, in too long. I'm still maintaining the responsibilities and loyalties that I have in my various walks of life but I'm not allowing myself to be overwhelmed by them as I- too often- had done in my past. Physically I'm still feeling fine; in a perverse way I sometimes think I feel healthier than I ever have. Strange- but good!

Back to the Super Bowl- Go Pats!!! It should be a fascinating, and close, match-up. The Pats defense has been playing much better over the last month and half or so, particularly the front 7. They're going to need to pressure Manning and contain the Giants run game to take some of the pressure off of our secondary, which should be tested by the Giants' receivers. Offensively the Pats should have to establish the run a bit more- Benny Green-Ellis, Danny Woodhead, and potentially Aaron Hernandez out of the backfield again- to take some of the pressure off of Brady and the passing game, force the Giants to respect the run enough to potentially free up Welker, Gronk (who will be healthy enuf to play!) Hernandez, Deion Branch, et al... a bit more. The Giants have played well over the last third of the season, and Tom Coughlin is a sharp coach but it is difficult for me to see a Belichick-coached team losing to an opponent twice in one season (11/6, NYG 24- 20 NE; the Pats last loss, BTW.) The wiseguys currently have the Pats installed as a 2.5- 3 pt. favorite; I haven't played it yet. Go Pats!!! (And two UMass guys will have prominent roles: Pats SS James Ihedigbo and Giants WR Victor Cruz.)

What I'm Reading Now: Blink Of An Eye, William S. Cohen

Bill would bar prisons from paying for inmate sex changes I realize it may get me booted from "the Sisterhood" but, as in the case with Robert Kosilek here in Massachusetts, why should taxpayers be forced to pony up the $$ for such convicted felons? Further, there are thousands of law-abiding transsexuals, people who did not violate the laws of society to such an extent that their fellow citizens found them deserving of imprisonment, who do not receive hair removal, HRT, SRS at taxpayer expense. Why should their hard-earned dollars, via their taxes, go to enable criminals to receive those? Priorities, people...
8 Anti-Aging Makeup Tricks With all due respect to wrinkle cream, the right foundation or lipcolor can make you look younger — instantly. See for yourself with these super-fast solutions. What gal doesn't want that?!
FBI releases plans to monitor social networks Imagine if this occurred under the previous Administration? We'd be hearing cries of incipient fascism and the like. But now... nothing to see here folks, move along.
The New Theories of Moral Sentiments The economic historian who is bringing love, faith, courage and virtue back into her discipline... she asks whether one can participate fully in the modern capitalist economy and still be a moral person. Ms. McCloskey is a free marketeer and used to be a close personal friend of Milton Friedman... In the mid-1990s, Ms. McCloskey went through another radical transformation, changing her gender and ditching her given first name, Donald, to become Deirdre.
The Secret Power Of Introverts ...before the twentieth century, we lived in what historians called a “culture of character,” when you were expected to conduct yourself morally with quiet integrity. But when people starting flocking to the cities and working for big businesses the question became, how do I stand out in a crowd? We morphed into a “culture of personality,” which she says sparked a fascination with glittering movie stars, bubbly employees and outgoing leadership.

"She's always out making pictures/She's always out making scenes/She's always out the window/When it comes to making dreams.... "

I had a- routine- CT scan earlier this week; great results! Nothing new or worrisome showed up, and the existing tumors had all shrunk appreciably, again (last scan was early last fall.) The oncologists seem very pleased with the results, as well as my continued response to and ability to tolerate the chemo regimen. My med people tell me that I'm doing a lot to stay healthy and strong but to me it just seems like I'm only doing what I've always done, no big thing. But apparently it is paying off, keeping me healthy. So good news!!!

Got a new pair of running shoes- Saucony again (natch! ProGrid Triumph 8.) Finally time to retire what I call my "recovery" running shoes (got me back up to 7+ miles/morning- tho' I'm currently confined to an indoor treadmill at the gym, cold is affecting me too much this winter, dammit.) Also purchased a new winter coat (wool, camel, knee length- nice!) Hafta make an appointment to get my hair done again next week; between the dry winter air, and just that I let it go too long it needs it...

Playoff fever- Go Pats! A phenomenal performance vs. Denver last weekend, in all facets of the game, with a few different wrinkles thrown into the game plan as well. Baltimore should pose a tougher challenge but if the Pats play like they did last weekend hopefully a Pats win for my birthday! :) Not having my best season AT$ this year, even struggling on college hoops (which in the past has been my best moneymaker.) I am in the black, but not comfortably- and I depend upon it to supplement my income. Whaddya gonna do...

What I'm Reading Now: The Drop, Michael Connelly; America Walks Into A Bar: A Spirited History of Taverns and Saloons, Speakeasies and Grog Shops, Christine Sismondo

Items of note:
NJ lawmaker apologizes for "gaybirds" post A New Jersey legislator has apologized for a post on a social media site that referred to the Philadelphia Eagles as "gaybirds" and the Dallas Cowboys as "cowgirls." Assemblyman Charles Mainor, D-Jersey City... Worth noting to those under the misguided perception that anti-gay sentiments are solely the province of Republicans and conservatives.
How to Get Unstuck New Years resolutions or not!
The Constitution and the Coot ...a sad conclusion: that the job of the constitutional candidate — the ombudsman for the founding document, the champion of the framers — is unlikely to appeal to anyone except the humorless crank at the end of the bar. And that’s not Ron Paul’s fault. That’s ours. Gary Johnson was my preferred GOP candidate but, given that they drove him out of the party I do find Ron Paul's candidacy interesting.
Single By Choice When it comes to getting hitched, more Americans than ever before are saying "I don't." Singles now make up nearly half the adult population in this country, and new research suggests they’re happier, more social, and more active in the community than many of their wedded counterparts. As with many things there are pros and cons.

"Take it easy, baby/Take it as it comes..."

Looking back I realize the last several years now I've composed a sort-of "year-end/year-ahead" entry. So here's another...

First- I hope everyone had an enjoyable Christmas or whatever holiday you celebrate this time of year- mine was very enjoyable! And I wish everyone all the best for the coming year :)

What to say about this past year? A life-altering one, for sure. Back in May I was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. As I've referenced a few times, prior to the onset of sudden- and very painful- symptoms the beginning of May I had no inkling, no idea, that anything was remotely wrong with me. Absent symptoms, and absent any particular reason to do any scans, etc... apparently there would have been little way of catching this sooner (a colonoscopy typically isn't recommended before age 50; I'm still several years away from that.) May and June were bad months, dealing with multiple surgical procedures, as well as the realization that I'm likely looking at a vastly-shortened life-span than expected (my oncologists told me- because I asked- that the median prognosis with treatment is currently a little over two years.) My mom also had some serious health issues during that time that I had to deal with/manage as well. The second half of the year has been better in terms of a lot of things; I've felt/am feeling quite good, especially considering. I've been able to resume my normal schedule, work-load, etc... I've regained much of my physical stamina and strength. My med people tell me that I've recovered from the surgeries and all and have responded quite well to the chemo treatments (with minimal side effects- still have all my hair! Tho' I think the chemo has aged my appearance bit, waaaaahhhhh.) I have some great people working on my behalf. I believe that I've done pretty well dealing with the psychological impact of it all thus far. I'm currently in the process of getting into a position to have/make/take more "me" time in the coming year. And I've been very encouraged, heartened, and touched by the outpourings of concern and support that I've received from so many, from all of my walks of life.

What have seldom come easily to me are spontaneity and easy adaptation to change. Be it my relatively conventional nature or whatever but I often tend to be very much a creature of habit (several folks who may be reading this can attest to that.) One thing my illness has begun to cause me to do is to change that trait somewhat (understanding that 44 + years of habit and in-grained processes are difficult to change overnight.) I do have a tremendous amount of- what?- loyalty toward people that I know, and don't wish to unnecessarily or unduly rock their boats; that's just not my way. But I've also felt increasingly liberated, or maybe it's simply not giving as much of a damn, in beginning to do more of the things that I want to do in life. It's not in my nature to be a free spirit nor to throw all cautions to the wind- I'm not wired that way, and I make no apologies for not being wired that way- but, inexorably at times still, I have begun to break out of some of my more hide-bound ways (hardly limited to my TGism, BTW.)

I'm not sure what the coming year will bring for me; how healthy I remain will be the biggest factor. I've never been much of a resolutions kind of gal, and I really can't think of any that I want/need to make- with the exception of making better effort to appreciate my days and the people in them, now more than ever :)

Anyway...
What I'm Reading Now: Sixkill, Robert B. Parker (his last, alas;) Shucked: Life on a New England Oyster Farm, Erin Byers Murray

"Time waits for no one/No favors has he/Time waits for no one/And he won't wait for me..."

Nice to see the city decked out for Christmas- looks pretty, all the lights, trees, decorations... Enjoying a bomber of Blue Hills Three Peak Holiday Stout while whiling away- shhhhh; it's in a glass, they'll think it's a Coke! It is getting nippy this evening... I hafta think about getting a new cell phone soon. I've never been a real gadget-geek; as long as something works reasonably well for me I'll stick with it until it drops. But my current phone needs replacement. I don't need a lot of bells-and-whistles, just something reliable, sturdy, and easy to use... Might attend this- T-Social Holiday Party- if I have the night free; Fenway Health (my primary health care provider) provides excellent care and support to the entire community, LGBT and straight... I'm not really sure how I feel about the whole Tim Tebow phenomenon. A lot of football pundits are correct; he doesn't (at least yet) possess many of the skills and attributes of the prototypical NFL QB. Doug Flutie, for all the critiques of him, did possess more of those, even if he also was an unconventional pro QB. But so far, as with Flutie, Tebow-led teams have found a way to win (much of this also goes to the Denver defense keeping games close enough to facilitate 4th quarter heroics.) But he's also a cultural phenom, with his "Tebowing." I respect anyone with sincere faith. And Tebow's seems to be sincere. Having said that, and maybe it's just my New England and/or Catholic background showing but I do find such public exhibitions of faith a bit- what?- unnecessary? There's a line in Scripture: "But when you pray, go to your inner room, close the door, and pray to your Father in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will repay you." (Matthew 6:6.) When it comes to football, I'll put my faith in Bill Belichick- beat Denver tomorrow! (Pats are favored anywhere from 7.5 to 9 points currently; I'm not playing it.)

What I'm Reading Now: Hitman: The Untold Story of Johnny Martorano: Whitey Bulger's Enforcer and the Most Feared Gangster in the Underworld, Howie Carr; The Speed Chronicles, Joseph Mattson, ed.

Items of note...
Christopher Hitchens, 1949–2011: In Memoriam Agree or disagree with his views (I did both) the man was thought-provoking and entertaining. A loss.
Gary Johnson Hits GOP Candidates Over Anti-Gay Rhetoric I'll say it one more time; Gov. Johnson's candidacy deserved greater respect from both the GOP and the media than it received. (And just to remind the knee-jerk GOP-bashers out there, Pres. Obama and VP Biden are both on record as opposed to SSM. Some "change.")
A Brain's Failure to Appreciate Others May Permit Human Atrocities Social neuroscience has shown through MRI studies that people normally activate a network in the brain related to social cognition -- thoughts, feelings, empathy, for example -- when viewing pictures of others or thinking about their thoughts. But when participants in this study were asked to consider images of people they considered drug addicts, homeless people, and others they deemed low on the social ladder, parts of this network failed to engage.

And some holiday cheer:


"Come on, it's lovely weather/For a sleigh ride together with you..."

A lil early but... I've probably said it before but one of my favorite Christmas discs is The Ventures' Christmas Joy. For me this is a great Christmas collection; never been much of a Mannheim Steamroller or Trans-Siberian Orchestra gal. Another great one is A Christmas Gift For You From Phil Spector... I usually don't get thinking too much about Christmas until maybe two weeks or so before, and I don't put up my lil Charlie Brown-like Christmas tree 'til maybe a week before the holiday... If you need a lil more help getting into the Christmas spirit: Irish Eggnog. Slainte!

What I'm Reading Now: Cape Cod Noir, David L. Ulin, ed.

Odds and sods...
Your Brain Knows a Lot More Than You Realize Neuroscientist David Eagleman explores the processes and skills of the subconscious mind, which our conscious selves rarely consider. Who knew?!
Irish Accents Surpass French Accents As The World’s Sexiest, Supposedly According to a poll of 5,000 women worldwide, cited in the UK’s Daily Mail newspaper, ladies most desire to be whispered sweet nothings in an Irish lilt, followed by Italian declarations of amore. Work on your brogue, guys :)
Top 10 excuses for not being great Dare to be great!
I Don't Understand What Anyone Is Saying Anymore I'd say that in about half of my business conversations, I have almost no idea what other people are saying to me...When I was younger, if I didn't understand what people were saying, I thought I was stupid. Now I realize that if it's to people's benefit that I understand them but I don't, then they're the ones who are stupid.
Zen: What Catholics Should Know For those interested...
Garlic Goodness Good and good for you!
The Psychology of Nakedness Do people’s mental capacities fundamentally change when they remove a sweater? This seems absurd: How could removing a piece of clothing change one’s capacity for acting or feeling? In six studies, however, we show that taking off a sweater—or otherwise revealing flesh—can significantly change the way a mind is perceived.

"Have a holly, jolly Christmas..."