my weblog

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

I had an appointment with my oncologist this morning to go over the results of a CT scan I had last week- VERY GOOD news! No spread, no new growths, and the existing tumors showed interval decrease in size of the multiple hypodense liver metastases, meaning they've shrunk in size! Woohoo! About as good as could possibly be expected this far into all of "this."
Still ten feet tall and bulletproof!

I'm a lil over two years into all of this cancer stuff now. I've been overwhelmed with the caring and support I've received from so many people, in all of my walks of life; whatever else I may have in life I've truly been blessed to be surrounded with so many good people. Having said that I can't help but wonder about two people in my life, people from this part of my life, people I have known and been close to for a long time. Both of these folks have really made themselves sparse around me since the cancer thing started. They're both local. One of them was/is, ostensibly, my longest and closest T-friend. We used to keep in touch so often but the last two years now she's really pulled back, pulled away from me. Another was/is a very good admirer friend, someone I've known and have had a friendly, enjoyable relationship with for quite awhile. But again, coinciding with the cancer thing, he's really made himself sparse, really pulled back, pulled away. I understand people get busy and such, but not to this extent. Maybe it's fear. I don't know why- you can't catch cancer, folks! I don't look especially sick or anything, and I've made more effort to be available, to see folks, to stop and smell the roses (Gawd, was that just a corny thing to say!) I don't have to beg anyone to be my friend but I have to admit, with these two people it's been kinda disappointing.
How could you blow off the Poor Cancer Girl?! ;)

Shut out the light and lead me
Somewhere - shut out the shadows, too
And while we lay there, makin' believe you love me
Stranger, could I believe in you...