my weblog

Sunday, October 30, 2011

That four-letter "s" word appeared today... snow- yuck! A good friend of mine in Connecticut lost power, and I guess there were outages throughout the region. I don't like snow and cold, never did, even as a kid. Summer is nice, and fall is wonderful, but wintry weather? Fuggedaboutit! (Al Gore is welcome to come brush the global warming off of my car...)

I've mentioned this before but in light of my illness it bears repeating; I've truly been blessed to be surrounded by so many good people, in all of my walks of life. Family goes without saying, but the genuine concern and affection that I've received from so many folks, from my oldest friends from home, to folks I hadn't been in contact with for- in some cases- many years, to folks I've recently befriended, and any/all in-between, has been truly heart-touching and humbling. While I've usually been a fairly friendly person there is a part of me that is sometimes guarded. The one biggest lesson I've taken from my illness so far is the importance of people, appreciating and, indeed, reveling in people. For any of you reading this, I thank you :)

Random ramblings... A disappointing game by the Patriots this afternoon, ugh... My docs put me on an anti-coagulant the beginning of October, to deal with possible/potential blood clot issues vis a vis my cancer as well as HRT. It's a daily injectible med, so for the first time in my life I've had to shoot up (I'll be in my basement room/With a needle and a spoon... well, not quite! ;)... I have to make an appointment this week to get my hair done again; it's been a lil while. I wanted to wait a bit to see how much- if any- hair thinning/hair loss I might have from chemo but it has- fortunately!- been a non-issue... I have plans to head out to the western part of the state this weekend to get together with several good friends- should be a fun time! Picked up a cute pink cotton sweater recently, a nice addition to my wardrobe... Made a yummy pumpkin bread this morning to take to my mom's- deelish!... My morning runs have been going well, except the colder temps affect my hands and face, make 'em sting and numb (the worst side-effect of my chemo.)... Just my .02, but- I've never understood what was/is considered sexy about smoking. Take the health issues out of it- what the heck is attractive about someone with a foul-smelling appendage in their hand, or their mouth? And kissing a smoker?! Yuck!... I am getting absolutely destroyed ATS on college football this season. I won't even say how far in the red I am. My worst season ever (so far, she types hopefully.) The Big East has been a disaster, no rhyme or reason to it whatsoever this year, and the ACC hasn't been much better for me. The Big Ten has been ok, and I'm in the black on my NFL picks, but not nearly enough to offset my current losses on college football. Ugh.

News of note...
The 10 Worst Stereotypes About Powerful Women Women continue climbing the rungs of power—building their ranks as heads of state, corporate leaders and media influencers—but their minority status means they still face harsh, limiting assessments based on their gender.
5 Dating-Profile Clichés and What They Really Mean Guys... ???
High school football betting rankles state athletic officials Maybe I'd have more success on high school games this season (still waiting for a line on a Hockomock League contest ;)
16-foot python found in Florida had eaten a deer Everglades biologist: 'This is clearly an extreme event' No kidding...
Pilot Wasn't Distracted by Skydiving Sex Stunt The Mile High Club!

"Send me dead flowers to my wedding/And I won't forget to put roses on your grave..."

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Sheer boredom on a rainy working Wednesday evening...
My fav songs by several artists (too many to choose from for CCR!)
Allman Bros. Band- Soulshine The Association- Never My Love
The Bangles- If She Knew What She Wants The Beach Boys- God Only Knows
Pat Benatar- Hit Me With Your Best Shot Blondie- Denis
Jimmy Buffett- Come Monday The Cars- All Mixed Up
Neko Case- Middle Cyclone Johnny Cash- Flesh and Blood
Kasey Chambers- Barricades and Brickwalls Shawn Colvin- Trouble
Elvis Costello- Alison Sheryl Crow- Strong Enough
Dire Straits- Twisting By the Pool The Doors- Light My Fire
The Eagles- Peaceful Easy Feeling Fleetwood Mac- You Make Loving Fun
Melody Gardot- Some Lessons The Go-Go's- Our Lips Are Sealed
Grateful Dead- Sugar Magnolia Heart- Barracuda
J. Geils Band- Musta Got Lost Stacey Kent- The Tender Trap
The Kinks- Waterloo Sunset Diana Krall- Love Me Like A Man
Kris Kristofferson- The Pilgrim, Chapter 33 Lisa Loeb- I Do
Lynyrd Skynyrd- Tuesday's Gone Madonna- Holiday
Aimee Mann- Going Through The Motions Meat Loaf-You Took The Words Right Out Of My Mouth
John Mellencamp- Ain't Even Done With the Night Steve Miller Band- Heart Like A Wheel
Kylie Minogue- Can't Get You Out Of My Head Van Morrison- Tupelo Honey
The Police- So Lonely The Pretenders- Mystery Achievement
Queen- You're My Best Friend The Ramones- Rock & Roll High School
Lou Reed- Coney Island Baby Rolling Stones- Brown Sugar
Linda Rondstadt- It's So Easy The Seekers- I'll Never Find Another You
Bob Seger- Til It Shines Patti Smith- Because The Night
Dusty Springfield- Goin' Back Bruce Springsteen- Point Blank
Rod Stewart- I Was Only Joking Stray Cats- Stray Cat Strut
Talking Heads- Psycho Killer Til Tuesday- Coming Up Close
Shania Twain- No One Needs To Know U2- Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own Townes Van Zant- To Live Is To Fly The Who- Love Reign O'er Me

And some items of note...
Greek Yogurt Vs. Regular Yogurt: Which Is More Healthful? How does Greek-style yogurt stack up against its conventional rival? I luv Greek yogurt, been eating it for a few years now :)
It's Time To Declare Peace In The War Against Drugs Americans like to style their nation as the land of the free. Yet the government is engaged in a war on its own people. The misnamed Drug War. As I've said before, from hormones to heroin, adults should have the right to ingest whichever substances they wish- as long as they also take personal responsibility for any adverse outcomes re. same. That's freedom.
The Gentle Art of Getting Loaded For those so inclined... :)
Nazis and Communists Throw Their Support Behind Occupy Wall Street Movements With "friends" like these... (and some people tried to tar the Tea Party movement as radical extremists.)
Study Says Most Women Are Bisexual For what it's worth...

Friday, October 14, 2011

A bit of a rant this evening...

This was brought on by a conversation with a good friend today but it could just as easily apply to a handful of other folks I know; curiously, they are all T's. I never have this problem with any men/admirers I know, nor with people from any of my other walks of life.

Invariably when I talk, chat, etc... with people, I try to be upbeat, positive, I try to build them up and credit/encourage them for any achievements or successes that they may have, large or small. It's just the way I am; there are more-than-enuf downers and Negative Nelly's in the world. But when I try to do that, and then have people who more-often-than-not focus on negatives, dump on any of the positives I try to accentuate to them... frankly, I don't need that misery, that negativity, I don't need that sh*t. And just so it's clear, I'm not talking about when friends share genuine setbacks and misfortunes and such with me, when they share their dilemmas and disappointments. I have both sympathy and empathy for those. But when you try and build them up, encourage them, try to give them an 'attagirl for something, and too often get a litany of negativity in response... Nothing was ever improved or solved by bitching, moaning, and whining. Bitching, moaning, and whining isn't going to change things, and what's more, people seldom wanna hear it, especially when it's in response to efforts at trying to encourage and build up and applaud folks for their efforts and endeavors.

There's a lot I could bitch and whine about if I chose to; a death sentence of cancer is at the top of the list (and yes, my doctors tell me that it is incurable.) I don't write that to elicit sympathy but simply to provide some folks with a lil perspective. With very few exceptions, I choose not to bitch and whine. It doesn't do me any good, it doesn't change or improve things. And- understandably- people really don't want to hear a litany of gloom and doom and negativity. They don't.

I'll leave with words I've quoted before:
If you waste your time a-talkin' to the people who don't listen,
To the things that you are sayin', who do you think's gonna hear.
And if you should die explainin' how the things that they complain about,
Are things they could be changin', who do you think's gonna care?
- To Beat The Devil, Kris Kristofferson

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Had a nice time visiting my brother and his family up in Maine this past weekend; beautiful, unseasonably mild weather, too! Not too bad today, either...

I had my absolute worst weekend picking against the $pread in over three years, pro and- especially- college games :( It was ugly... At least the Pats had a nice win over the New Jersey Jets (I didn't play it, dammit!)

What I'm Reading Now: Rawhide Down: The Near Assassination of Ronald Reagan, Del Quentin Wilber

Most recent download: Sweetheart Of The Sun, The Bangles

I've been feeling good- been increasing my distance on my morning runs, up to around 6.75 miles/run. October and November are my two favorite months to run all year; hope to be up to 7+ miles by early November. My gym workouts have been going well, too... Something must be paying off; I got a pair of Gap jeans last week- size FOUR! Yeah, I know all about "vanity sizing" and all but it feels pretty dang good to be able to say I fit into a size four anything! And I got the go-ahead to resume HRT this past Friday- yay! Gotta make an appointment to get my hair done again soon; I last had it done the end of July and I wasn't quite sure if/how much hair loss might be a side effect vis a vis my chemo. So far it's hasn't been an issue. Now I just have to find time to fit an appointment in...

Five More Things People May Not Know About Me... (or may not care to know!)
- My favorite rock band is... CCR! (Not too "girlie" I know, but hey... :)
- I have paralyzing arachnophobia; spiders totally freak me out, hate 'em.
- As otherwise athletic and coordinated as I am I'm an utter klutz on any dance floor! The best I can do is a slow one where I just hang on tight :(
- Several years ago (more than a decade) I weighed in excess of 275 lbs (I'm currently 146! :)
- In high school I could touch the rim; pretty good hops for a 5'6" suburban white "girl"...

"We're all here to wonder why/It's a freefall 'til we fly/Then you and I will make circles in the sky..."

Sunday, October 02, 2011

Crossfire doesn't burn you
It only hurts when it gets you in the heart
If you don't hate me you'll learn to
I thought I had it clear from the start
I don't have a heart
-Crossfire, Kasey Chambers

October- the nicest month of the year in New England!

A satisfying win by the Patriots this afternoon, and nice to see Big Vince Wilfork with another pick! And a winning weekend picking ATS- college winners were Wake Forest and Cincinnati, pro winners New Orleans, Tennessee, and San Diego (UConn- figures- and the Steelers were losers...) And someone breakup the- gasp!- 4-0 Detroit Lions!!! Picked up a couple of camis at Target the other day; they're a good item at a great price... I had an appointment with my primary care doc last Friday re. resuming HRT. Both he and my oncologist are both on-board with it (he said he was very impressed with her response; I have great confidence in her, and in my entire med team.) For a couple of medical reasons they want me on an anti-coagulant (HRT, as well as cancer, raises the risk of blood clots, DVTs, pulmonary embolism, etc... ) so I started that last Friday as well. I meet with my PCP again this Friday where I'll hand him my "informed consent for estrogen therapy" form and- likely- receive my Rx for estrogen :)

What I'm Reading Now: The Harvard Psychedelic Club, Don Lattin; The End of Everything, Megan Abbott

The most difficult people to forgive are ourselves. Trite, but often true.

Items of note...
Milk, Minus the Cow I've been drinking Silk Original Soy milk for years, usually blended with soy protein powder... Per cup: 100 cal, 4 g fat (0.5 g sat), 8 g carbs (6 g sugars), 120 mg sodium, 1 g fiber, 6 g protein
Is This the Sanest Man Running for President? Gary Johnson was governor of New Mexico for eight years, balanced the hell out of his budgets, and climbed Mount Everest with a broken leg.
Serotonin levels affect brain's response to anger Researchers from Britain's Cambridge University found that when serotonin levels are low, it may be more difficult for the brain to control emotional responses to anger.