my weblog

Wednesday, February 26, 2003

Bound to happen sooner or later...twisted my ankle but GOOD (or bad, actually) the other morning while on my run...@#$%! ice and snow, agh...I have had more running-related, nagging injuries the last few months (first my knee, now my ankle) than I can's still a little bit swollen, probably won't give it another whirl running for a few days...hopefully StairMaster work won't bother it too much, but yesterday and today I just babied it, didn't work out at all (I know- wimp!), just RICE...and maybe by Monday or so it will have warmed up enough to melt more of the snow and ice still present on the streets and sidewalks...this has been one BEAR of a winter here this year :(

"Spillin' wine and sharin' good times, she sure could make him smile/He pays her well but what the hell, he'll be movin' in a little while/Havana daydreamin'..."

Thursday, February 13, 2003

Relationships...these have been on my mind recently...a few thoughts, and they both kind of harken back to something I posted a little while back...first, I had mentioned one longtime friendship I've had that, unless things changed, probably wouldn't see '04? Well, it looks like it didn't even see hurts, as I'd known, liked, and respected this person (even if we sometimes disagreed, vigorously at times!) for close to ten years...I feel bad about this, particularly as I know this person has suffered some business setbacks recently, but I honestly believe that I've given my best to trying to keep that friendship alive, to trying to be there for that person; she's the one who let things drift apart, not apparently that's over, and while it hurts- quite a bit- if that's how she feels, after the repeated efforts I've made, in the long run I suppose I'll be better off by having it end.

But apart from that one, SO many of the relationships, of various kinds and on various levels, that I've tried to have have withered, and I know I'm mostly to blame. It hasn't been intentional, but, despite my best intentions and desires, I seem unable to make the time I would truly like to be able to make to maintain- and grow- these relationships. Blame the economy, blame my many commitments, blame my own laziness, blame whatever, bottom-line; I haven't made or found the time to be there for people...the relatively few times recently when I have had time, I've had to honor commitments to my "other" life; I don't apologize for that, those folks are just as worthy and just as deserving of my time and attention, probably more so, as I've known them longer. I have a very strong- perhaps a too strong- sense of loyalty, and it often goes in a hierarchy, depending upon how long I've known/been acquianted with someone (family, friends from high school, friends from college, more recent friends, and so on...), with my own wishes and desires usually coming last. And I'm also not good at ending things, letting things go that might be better being let go. These are why I seldom can get too angry with others when it seems they've blown me off; frequently, I know that- and feel VERY badly about- the fact that I haven't been able to make the time for them that they deserved, and that I would have liked to have made for them, is the reason for a parting as it were...dammit, I wanna have fun, I wanna get out and do more again, meet more people again, have a FAR more active social life again!...I know I've often written about the many changes I want and need to make in my life, they must read ad nauseum after awhile...plans without actions are simply wishes; sadly, that's all I've seemed to do far too much...the reasons, legit or not, don't really matter, the fact remains that I'm not living the way I want to, and I'm- if not hurting- certainly disappointing far too many good people along the way, be they acquaintances, casual dates, potentially good friends, more serious romantic relationships, well as anyone I've hurt or disappointed, all I can say is I'm sorry, it's not you or your fault, but me and mine.

Damn, will this winter EVER end???

"She wonders how it ever got this crazy/She thinks about a boy she knew in school/Did she get tired, or did she just get lazy?/She's so far gone she feels just like a fool..."

Saturday, February 08, 2003

Yikes- did we get some snow yesterday or what?! QUITE a bit more than the weather folks were forecasting- NO, it wasn't another Blizzard of '78 (and did the local media play up the 25th anniversary of that!) but we did get about a foot of snow right in Boston, the most from one storm in I think 7 or 8 years...this has been a REAL winter around here this year, between the cold, and the snow...I know, I know, "You live in New England, whaddya expect?" but the past several winters haven't been too least a bigger snowfall this time of year doesn't- usually!- last quite as long, with the longer days, stronger sun, and somewhat warmer temps helping to melt it...I've never been a "winter person," maybe next winter will finally find me in Las Vegas or somewhere else warm and sunny!

What do you folks think of knee-high boots? I've never owned a pair- I've always favored ankle booties- but I've been thinking about getting a pair you think they look too "hookerish?"...I can probably get a nice deal this late in the season...just a thought! run this morning, too much snow out there still :(

"I'm walking on sunshine, whoa-oh..."

Thursday, February 06, 2003

Advance warning!!! I apologize now- today's post may be a bit of a political rant; if this isn't your cup of tea, maybe you'd better check back another time! :)

Several thoughts on the situation re. Iraq...after watching Colin Powell's presentation before the UN yesterday, does any rationally-thinking person have any doubts about the duplicity of the Iraqi regime in attempting to thwart the inspection process? Those folks have been thumbing their nose at UN resolutions since the end of the '91 Gulf War...and re. Iraqi/al Qaeda ties? I don't know about you, but I'm more inclined to give our President and his administration the benefit of the doubt before Saddam Insane and his crew...And can we talk a moment about these inspections? That's what they are- inspections, NOT investigations! Hans Blix, et al, were not charged with an investigative mandate, to try and find new sites where Iraq may have been developing WMD's. Rather, they were to inspect the sites, etc...that the Iraqi regime, as a member of the UN, had identified as sites where their weapons program had been conducted, and that they were now in compliance with the UN resolutions THEY HAD AGREED TO. The inspections were never meant to be a high stakes game of hide-and-seek between Saddam and the UN...

And war? Nobody (with the exception of the aforementioned Saddam Insane) "wants" war; not our President nor his administration, certainly not our military leaders, who know more than anyone the horrors and violence of conflict and see it as something to avoid if at all possible, not members of Congress- of either party- and I imagine not the majority of Iraqi civilians, those who aren't blinded by the fanaticism of "jihad." Yet- sadly- if the UN is to be seen as anything other than a paper tiger, and given the commingling of terrorist organizations and rogue regimes, at some point force has to be an option, as sad an option as it is...Europe? And world opinion? With the exception of quisling France and Germany, most of Europe is with the US on action vs. Iraq, albeit to differing degrees, as indeed are several of the Middle Eastern nations; this is hardly the US going it alone...And the alleged "peace" movement here? While there are some committed pacifists involved, Quakers and others who are always, consistently opposed to war, and their convictions are to be respected, even if disagreed with, much of the so-called "anti-war" movement here has more been an "anti-Bush/anti-Republican/anti-capitalist" one, a forum more concerned with attempting to advance Far Left politics and causes (what does "Free Mumia" have to do with any action vs. Iraq? Or environmental extremist issues? Or trade issues?), more concerned with politics than peace. Where were the majority of these folks when the previous administration was introducing US troops into the Balkans to enforce UN mandates and to protect the Bosnians? Seems many of them are VERY selective in which military actions (and which administrations) they choose to protest...and entertainment-types? Please...again, yes, some DO take the time to become informed on the issues they care about, and even if one disagrees with their views, they can be respected for at least having been thoughtful on the issues; Susan Sarandon, Paul Newman, folks such as them? They are deserving of respect, irregardless of their points of view, because they take the time to become intelligent and informed. But others, like Martin "I'm not a President but I play one on television" Sheen? Sean Penn? Sheryl Crow? Sheryl- I LOVE your music, and you have an absolutely KILLER bod, but please, your political pronouncements make me cringe, not because I agree or disagree, but cuz' they're so inane! C'mon, folks!

And a few words about our President...this is not an evil man, nor is he a stupid man. While an Ivy League education may be over-rated (spoken like a TRUE public university alum!), a BA from Yale and an MBA from Harvard is nothing to sneeze at; by osmosis, you're bound to pick something up. And he has surrounded himself with talented people, experienced people, especially concerning world affairs: Dick Cheney, Colin Powell, Rummy, Condoleeza Rice, et al...I think about some of the things said and written about President Bush by some of the "deep thinkers," by some media outlets, academicians, opponents in Washington, etc...that he's not bright, he's a cowboy, he lacks depth, inexperienced, reckless, a saber-rattling war-mongerer too eager to engage our foes, simplistic in his worldview, and more, and I think that I'd heard these same things not all that long ago, when I was growing up, about another leader, and I think of the impact of that leader on our security, and the world...wouldn't it be something if, ten or so years from now, as a result of our engaging the forces of tyranny, weapons of mass destruction were no longer being pointed, that the walls of violence and intolerance cloaked in the guise of religion began to fall, and freedom and democracy, respect for and committments to human rights, began to flower throughout the Middle East, as they have- not over night, but steadily- throughout Central and Eastern Europe? Happy 92nd birthday, President Reagan!...lastly, no matter one's views on all of this, we should all hope and pray that, should action come, it be as quick as possible, and that as few innocent lives, on all sides, are lost as possible. (And I'll post something far less political next time, I promise! :)

"You've gotta stand for something/Or you're gonna fall for anything..."

Sunday, February 02, 2003

May God have mercy on and bless the Columbia astronauts, and give their families and friends the strength to deal with their losses.

"Our lives are better left to chance/I could have missed the pain/But I'd have had to miss the dance..."