my weblog

Sunday, May 25, 2003

I ought to just leave the same @#$%! weather forecast up every time I post- YET ANOTHER weekend of cool, cloudy, rainy weather...STILL feels more like late-March than late-May! C'mon, weather folks, give us a break here, will ya? The little bit of tan I got, mostly on my legs, is starting to fade! Sheesh...

I'm bummed- CoverGirl no longer makes one of my favorite eye shadows! I'd been everywhere over the past month or so looking for another "Grey Suede;" it works pretty well with my blue eyes, especially when I want to go with a bit of an under-stated kind of look, and I couldn't find it anywhere. I finally emailed 'em and they told me they no longer make that shade. Waaaaaahhhh! I've just about used it completely up, I'll have to find another brand's comparable shade...

I came across an interesting article in one of the weekend papers about a TS woman making her transition while working for a major financial company. These sorts of companies understandably aren't typically known for embracing anything that doesn't smack of rock-solid consistency, and this woman, in her early 50's (and QUITE a looker!) had had a successful career there for quite some time as a man. But the overall response has been good, from management, co-workers, as well as clients. One of the things that particularly struck me was that she mentioned she had no desire to pack up and disappear or "drop out" from her previous life, employer, identity, often seems to be something many T's do, or wish to do. Similarly, I have a transitioning TS friend who has done much as the woman I referenced above has; she has a responsible job w/ an important company located in the city where she went to school and has lived and worked for over a decade (and also is similarly QUITE a looker! :) One of the- many- things I am impressed with is that they have have maintained their identities, pretty much only changing or adopting a similar-sounding or feminine version of their "real" first name, keeping their real last name,'s something I briefly alluded to in a post earlier this year, something I may consider adopting at some point later this year ("Kerrigan" not being my real last name, nor "Kellie" being a derivative of my given first name...but they do go pretty well together, don't they?! :) in an attempt to make all of this seem more "real." We'll see- but I have considerable respect and admiration for the courage of people like them to do these things, while maintaining "mainstream" lives, jobs, etc...

Will Roger win #300 vs. the Sox tomorrow?!

"I've got a crummy job/It don't pay near enough/To buy the things it takes/To win me some of your love..."

Friday, May 16, 2003

A damp, gray, chilly Friday...seems like winter just does not want to release it's grip this year...didn't even crack 50 degrees today, and it's May 16...

Lately I've been in a bit of a (or, moreso than usual) "what-if" mindset, pondering how better, or at the very least, different, my life would be, had I done things differently than I have. Not the most healthy of mindsets to get into, I know, but...for instance, and without going into more detail than I wish, there was a time a couple of years ago when, had I made a conscious effort to follow thru on a few things, work-wise as well as in other ways, I know I would be leading a more fulfilling life than I am currently...had I extended myself a bit more, had I challenged my comfort zone a bit more, my life, my way of living, would almost certainly have been in a different, and most likely more fulfilling, place than it is currently...but...Similarly...they say people should do for a living what comes most naturally to them, where their talents most naturally lie, and what they derive some pleasure and satisfaction from doing...had I considered this more carefully way back when, given it more thought, followed MY inclinations instead of what others thought, back in college I would've been a journalism major. I've always had a bit of a knack for writing, it's something that has always come pretty easily to me...while I like to believe that I have some creative writing skills (the one novel and few short stories languishing on my hard drive might beg to differ!) moreso, I've found basic prose, reportage/opinion-type writing, to come so easily to me. One of the most enjoyable gigs I ever (too briefly!) had was writing a once-twice weekly opinion piece for a since-defunct online publication. It wasn't the pay, but the sheer enjoyment of what I was doing, the fulfillment of it...while I certainly have no objection to wealth, nice things, etc...I've never been an especially "materially"-motivated person. I don't NEED the $500,000 condo, or the $50,000 car, or the $500 dress, etc...(if anyone wants to buy these for me, I won't object! ;) What I do want, if not need, is the means, both in terms of $$$ and- just as much- of time and opportunity, to indulge in things that are important to me; spending more time w/ family and friends, enjoying a more active social life, having the time and means to take a few trips, even just to the Cape or New York City or something, or simply an afternoon to just hang out, as well as to be doing something w/ my life career-wise that I find rewarding, fulfilling, and enjoyable. Another one was perhaps seeking an MLS...working in an academic library setting has held more than a little interest for me...What if...

I dunno, maybe it's simply this interminable weather that has me feelin' this way tonight...c'mon, summer!!!

"I've been too long on these islands/I've been far too long alone/I've been too long without summer/In this winter home..."

Friday, May 09, 2003

Corrections page- Typo error...or brain cramp...or blonde moment...yes, I was, and AM, aware that Jason Kidd was w/ the Phoenix Suns when he had his "incident" with the lovely Joumana, but thank you SO much for pointing out my error, David! ;) And in the world of sports...doncha just WANNA party w/ Larry Eustachy and Mike Price? Woohoo! Guys,, let's understand...Iowa State and Alabama hired these men as coaches (basketball, football), NOT as Pope, or whatever (and let's not discuss Bill Bennett right now!)...and I understand (believe me, I understand! ;) that many coaches have their interests, predilictions, etc...and, within reason, and with a bit of discretion, should be able to indulge said interests, predilictions, etc...BUT...drinking and partying with college students, AFTER a loss, AT an on-campus party, ON the campus of the team that just beat you...NOT a great move, Coach Eustachy! C'mon...And Coach Price? I don't have a problem w/ him- nor should 'Bama have a problem w/ him- visiting a "gentleman's club" and having a few while there...HOWEVER...probably NOT a great move to charge that foray, nor allowing the "dancer" who came back to your room with you to charge $1000 worth of "room service" to the university...and reportedly there are other allegations of "questionable" conduct by Coach Price just since arriving in Tuscaloosa...what would Bear Bryant think?!...Bottomline, there's NOTHING wrong w/ having a good time, but sometimes, a lil bit of discretion, or maturity, is also advised, yes/no?

RIP- Elizabeth Hulette (aka, wrestling's "Miss Elizabeth" :)

"Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies..."

Thursday, May 08, 2003

Random thoughts on a rainy Thursday morning...I still haven't tried Absolut's vanilla-flavored vodka yet, but if it's HALF as yummy as Diet Vanilla Coke- hee!- it could become my new fav!...It's funny, working out, I usually wear my Walkman while on a cardio machine, a secret little smile always comes across my face whenever I hear The Kinks "Lola" on the radio...wonder why?! lol...A few from the world of sports...first, some real sports...The Celtics lost game 2 last night, ugh...this really was a must-win for 'em...tough to win, guys, with so many turnovers...I don't have much hopes of them rallying back from 0-2 to win the series...the Nets are a pretty talented team...tho' I still see the Finals being Philly vs. the Lakers, w/ the Lakers winning again...we'll see how good this prognostication is in about another month!...I don't know how much press the Bob Ryan/Joumana Kidd dust-up has been getting nationwide...briefly; Ryan, longtime Boston Globe hoops columnist, made admittedly inane comments on a local sports televsion program re. Mrs. Kidd's high profile image @ Nets games, saying he'd like to "smack" her...most likely, he meant this only figuratively, not literally, but given Mrs. Kidd's history of spousal abuse at the hands of her hubby, Jason, it was a loaded comment...the Globe suspended Ryan for a month w/out opinion (and you KNEW I'd have one!)- excessive, given the fact that Jason never received a suspension from the Nets for actually "smacking" his wife...a stupid comment by Ryan? Definately? Worthy of suspension of that level? Probably not. But given those overly-sensitive, politically correct times...And in a nice alma mater, the University of Massachusetts, is considering changing it's longtime mascot/logo, the Minuteman! Say it ain't so! One reason given is that the current mascot doesn't sell enuf "stuff"...well, MAYBE if our highest-profile athletic team performed better on the court (that means YOU, Coach Lappas and the men's hoops team! UMass apparel sold alright during the Coach Cal years...), and MAYBE if the athletic department sought better conference affiliation, AS WELL AS bit the bullet and made the decision to seek 1A football status (the Storrs Sleddogs could do it, but we can't?!) MAYBE you'd sell more "stuff"...but also, the oh-so-sensitive powers-that-be are vocing concerns that the Minutemen is not an "inclusive" enough mascot, being a- horrors!- white male carying a fiream. Please! A little history...Minutemen were freedom fighters from Massachusetts. At the time of the Revolution, the overwhelming majority of these folks were men from England. Most men of English descent, particularly in the 18th century, were white. There's nothing racist or sexist about this. As for being "militaristic," well, the American Revolution was NOT fought with peace symbols, folks! The Minuteman is a symbol unique to Massachusetts; what better mascot for the state's flagship public university? As for not being "inclusive" enough- what about the Syracuse Orangemen? Men?! Or that VERY derogatory symbol, the "Fighting Irish" of Notre Dame? What a horrible ethnic streotype/slur? And how do the many non-Hibernian Notre Dame athletes feel about being called "Irish," fighting or otherwise? Or the Wake Forest Demon Deacons? Duke Blue Devils? Florida St. Seminoles? AGH!!! Please, UMass Athletic Department, show a little sanity, show a little backbone-Keep The Minuteman!...And in another great segue, alma mater made me so proud- not- last weekend, with the Hobart Hoe-down, partying does NOT allow you to trash neighborhoods, nor attack police (who are only doing their jobs) with rocks, bottles, etc...grow up, kiddies...And hey, don't forget- this Sunday is Mother's Day! :)

"I pushed her away/I walked to the door/I fell to the floor/I got down on my knees/Then I looked at her and she at me.."