my weblog

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Quick rant: I've looked at my- few- online profiles, etc... I don't believe I've indicated in any of them that I'm looking for romantic, let alone sexual, encounters with other T's. Friends? You bet, and I've made many over the years, r/t as well as online :) But my romantic interests run toward admirers, toward men. OK? And while I do enjoy hearing from new people- T's, admirers, whomever- (and my apologies for not always responding quite as promptly as I should, and would like to; life sometimes does get in the way) please, introduce yourself a lil bit first, tell me a lil about yourself, ask a lil about me... you know, interaction, conversation... just like you'd have with anyone else. TGism does not throw all social conventions- or manners- out the window...
Whew- I feel better! ;)

A mixed weekend AT$ this week- college wins were NC State -2, Penn St -20.5, West Va -10, Northwestern -6, ended up with a push and loss with USC @ -11 and -12.5 (meaningless TD by Minnesota with 15 seconds remaining killed me- ack!) and losses UConn -6 (have I said that I hate the Storrs Sleddogs?!) and Wake Forest +17. A good showing in an unlined game (at least @ my books) by my UMass Minutemen, losing a squeaker in the Big House to Michigan... Not as good a showing by my Patriots today, ugh... NFL win was Green Bay -13; losses Oakland -4, Baltimore -1.5, Minnesota -5.5, with Indy -5.5 and New Orleans -4 yet to play... Still well up on the- early- season, tho'! :)

I hafta clean up my diet again, ugh. For me the second half of the equation- exercise- is always the easy part; running, hitting the gym- no problem, I enjoy 'em! But as I've mentioned before, when stressed I tend to eat, and eat unhealthily (too many carbs; higher protein/lower carb works for me. At least I seldom drink to excess!) and, perhaps due to the 'mones, or whatever, the weight tends to show up more quickly... and unattractively :( Basically it's that last 10 lbs (that, right now, is probably closer to 12-15) that I've lost and gained, gained and lost for the past 9 years or so (I once weighed a lot more.) The 'mones are part of it, stress eating is part of it, even- waaahhhhh!- aging is part of it (I'll be 44 in a few months) but ultimately it is about self-discipline and consistency on my part.

Some news of note:
Is your child a "prehomosexual"? Forecasting adult sexual orientation
Skewering theories of ‘hard-wired’ gender differences
The Online State of Nature Why has Internet discourse devolved into a "war of every man against every man"?

What I'm reading now:
Libertarianism, from A to Z, Jeffrey A. Miron
Devils in Exile, Chuck Hogan (who also wrote Prince of Thieves, upon which The Town was based)

10 on shuffle...
Wendy, Beach Boys
Follow You Home, Kasey Chambers
The Grand Illusion, Styx
Little Tornado, Aimee Mann
What Am I Supposed To Say?, Lisa Loeb
Red Skies, The Fixx
In Your Eyes, Kylie Minogue
You're My Best Friend, Queen
No Trespassing, The Ventures
Let's Get It On, Marvin Gaye

"I've been sanctified..."

Monday, September 06, 2010

"I know what I'm supposed to want, but it just never feels right, or as important as anything in that office."- Peggy Olson

Enjoying an Ipswich Summer Ale on the- unofficial- last weekend of summer...

Earl was more bark than bite- whew. A lil bit of rain and wind Friday night was all, followed by a very nice weekend!

August was busier than I anticipated- thought I was going to have more downtime than I did. Whaddya gonna do... Some time free this weekend, yay! Just chillaxed (I always wanted to use that word) Friday night, went out for a few Saturday and Sunday evenings; hadn't had much time to go out in a lil while, was nice :) Got some prime late-summer tanning in as well this weekend...

Lately I've been trying to re-establish/re-connect/renew relationships from my "other" life that I've neglected for far too long. (And some folks here think that I stay too busy or neglect them!) While it was not intentional, and while much of that neglect was/is due to mutual work schedules, family commitments (all of them are married, all but one married with kids; the past year also saw me busy, time-wise as well as emotionally, with a lot of things re. my mom's health, but honestly the neglect has been longer than just the last year or so) I can and do place much of the blame on me. I could have- and should have- made greater efforts to, at the very least, have kept in better touch with as well as seen them more. I value those friendships very much; they are as important a part of me as anything else. Over the many years one recurring theme throughout this blog has been loyalty; my desire, my need, to extend and show loyalty to those in my life who deserve that from me. Very few things tear me up more than when I believe I've failed people in that regard. And I do believe that I have failed a lot of very good people, from that "other" part of my life especially, for far too long. Again, not intentionally, but still...

And if I'm totally honest, more-than-a-bit of that neglect has been as a result of this (my TGism) becoming an evermore dominant part of me. While I still try to ride that razor's edge of trying to effectively pull off a dual existence (I feel I owe that to family and friends, as well as for work reasons, even if, as I recently told one T friend who asked, my default mindset- for lack of a better phrase- is my feminine one) I'm not the same person I was even 7-8 years ago, let alone 10, 15, 20 or more, not merely physically but emotionally, attitudes, etc... as well. This has always been a part of me, a part I've been aware of since I was 5-6 years old. I've been pretty fortunate that I've never suffered much- any, really- in the way of guilt, etc... over it. At a young age I was able to comprehend that, for whatever reason/s, I was wired this way and that, while unusual, it's not unnatural. (I also comprehended that, growing up, discretion was the better part of valor!) I realize many T's often have difficulty coming to adequate terms with that, with balancing dual natures. (Some admirers do as well.) Where I need to create better balance is in other parts of my life, specifically time-management vis a vis commitments to family, long-time friends, work, social and dating lives, etc...

Anyway... Football season got off to a profitable start this weekend- Minnesota +4, Michigan -3 (always good to see the Storrs Sleddogs lose!), Purdue -12, Kentucky -3, and Maryland +7 all came through, while Utah -3 was a push. Va. Tech +3 on tap tonight- slim pickings for next weekend's college games (West Va -13?)... And the Patriots open up next weekend- Go Pats!... Last night's episode of Mad Men (saw it on On Demand today) may well have been the best of the series; something about Peggy's loyalty maybe...??? Some great runs the past week or so (even with the heat we'd had.) Got a new pair of running shoes (Saucony Triumph 6)- I needed 'em! I never realize how broken down my old shoes are until I get a new pair... The college students are back. The sidewalks, the T- heck, everything- are more crowded, but I enjoy having 'em back (even if they can be noisy- hey, I was once as well.) I always enjoyed school; as a kid, junior high and high school, college too. Knowledge is good.- Emil Faber.

(Admit it- where else are you going to find references to football wagering, Mad Men, and Animal House all in one paragraph?! ;)

"She's got everything delightful/She's got everything I need..."