my weblog

Friday, October 30, 2009

I have several calls, emails, messages, etc... to catch up on- just been flat out most of this week. Besides all of the usual my mom has come down with a touch of the flu, so between everything else and travelling to and from to see/get what she may need there time has been at an extreme premium this week. Not complainin', just explainin'...

Be patient with me- I'll catch up soon :)

"Sometimes I feel/Like I been tied to the whipping post/Good Lord, I feel like I'm dyin'..."

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Sunday evening sipping on an Ipswich Oatmeal Stout and wondering how many times I'll hear Monster Mash this week...

My newest good/bad snack: Ostrim sticks! I like the pepper ones best: 80 calories, 14g of protein, 2g of carbs. You can find 'em at your local GNC...

I found this one: HOW TO SNOOP INTO A PERSONALITY kinda interesting. I'm not sure what my "stuff" says about me- hopefully something good! I often wish I could read others' agendas, intentions, motivations, etc... better. Sometimes I don't know if I'm too jaded or too naive regarding others- I'm pretty much a WYSIWYG kinda gal... is a good website for bars, bartenders, & imbibing in beantown as they put it... Another website I recommend: The Frisky... This isn't good: The Boston Police Department is investigating a report of a sexual assault on a female victim early this morning in the Fenway. Some will ask what was she doing alone in the Fens at that hour, and yes, everyone should always be cognizant of their surroundings. But people ought to be able to come and go as they wish, at any hour they wish. Hopefully the perps will be apprehended.

Another good win by the Pats today, 35-7 over Tampa Bay, in London... A very good week ATS: on the collegiate side, winners Fla. St. +3, Rutgers -10, Syracuse -10, Ga. Tech -5, Penn St. -4, Pitt -6.5, Iowa +2 (hadda sweat that one out!); losers West Va. -7, Northwestern -4.5. On the professional side, winners Green Bay -7 and -9, Indy -13, San Diego -5, NYJ -6, NO -6.5; losers Chicago +1, Carolina -7, and SF on the push at +3, with NYG -7 and Phila. -7 yet to play. I had someone who was a lil surprised at the effort I put into this, as well as the fact that it's not simply a hobby but a part of my income stream- sometimes I feel like I spend time here like other spend following the stock ticker; not all that different when you think about it... College hoops will be starting up next month, too.

Whaddya gonna do...

"Well don't skip romance 'cause you're old enough to/Dance the night away..."

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

News you can lose...
Coming soon to a theater near you: The Boondock Saints II- All Saints Day
The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day is the much-anticipated sequel to the indie cult classic, The Boondock Saints. The film is the continuation of writer/director Troy Duffy’s tough, stylized cutting edge saga of the MacManus brothers (Norman Reedus, Sean Patrick Flanery). The two have been in deep hiding with their father, Il Duce (Billy Connolly), in the quiet valleys of Ireland, far removed from their former vigilante lives. When word comes that a beloved priest has been killed by sinister forces from deep within the mob, the brothers return to Boston to mount a violent and bloody crusade to bring justice to those responsible. With a new partner in crime (Clifton Collins Jr., Star Trek) and a sexy FBI operative (Julie Benz, TV's “Dexter”) hot on their trail…the Saints are back!
Scheduled to open October 30...

Killer plucks at judge’s heartstrings
Still roots for taxpayer-funded hair removal
How can we miss you if you won't go away?
I've opined on that individual before. While I realize it may get me kicked out of the Sisterhood I have no sympathy for that individual, for that person's plight. Kosilek states the “painful truth . . . that I am essentially alone when those in control decide that money or political expedience are more important than my suffering.” No, you are "essentially alone" and not in control and are "suffering" because you committed murder, you strangled your wife. There are many transgender women (not to mention GGs) in Massachusetts who might like hair removal on the commonwealth's dime who haven't committed murder, yet that clown has the nerve to demand the taxpayers pony up for theirs?! (And it's also worth asking just who is footing the bill for Kosiliek's hormone therapy? I know I pay for my own... ah, our tax dollars at work.) Folks such as Kosilek- and her supporters- do transgender individuals no favors; they create the fodder others use to scorn us. Hopefully Judge Mark L. Wolf will deny this motion as he did Kosilek's previous one...

New medical marijuana policy issued
The Obama administration will not seek to arrest medical marijuana users and suppliers as long as they conform to state laws, under new policy guidelines to be sent to federal prosecutors Monday.
A small step- but a step nevertheless- forward in creating some sanity in our drug laws. I've stated before; while I'm not a recreational illicit drug user- my substance of choice comes in a bottle; smoking, snorting, or shooting aren't my things- government has no right to proscribe which substances adults may choose to ingest, whether medicinally or recreationally. (Of course, concomitant with that, individuals who run into trouble as a result of the substances they choose to ingest have no right to expect that their fellow citizens, via government, must care for them due to their choice. With rights come responsibilites.) But on this one- being the fair and balanced kinda gal that I am!- an 'attaboy to the Obama Administration.

Govt.-Run Health Care Isn't the Answer
Sen. Tom Coburn, M.D., and GOProud's Christopher R. Barron say that the inefficiencies of the Ryan White CARE Act suggest that a government-run program is not the key to quality health care.
Worth considering for the open-minded...

Nippy run this am- brrrrrrrr! And a good workout @ the gym a lil while ago, felt good...

What I'm Reading Now: Southland, Nina Revoyr

This one's been rattling around in my head the last few days (wish it were Stairway To Heaven that was rattling around, but... ;)
One, U2
Is it getting better, or do you feel the same?
Will it make it easier on you, now you got someone to blame?
You say one love, one life, when it's one need in the night.
One love, we get to share it
Leaves you baby if you don't care for it.

Did I disappoint you or leave a bad taste in your mouth?
You act like you never had love and you want me to go without.
Well, it's too late tonight to drag the past out into the light.
We're one, but we're not the same.
We get to carry each other, carry each other... one

Have you come here for forgiveness,
Have you come to raise the dead
Have you come here to play Jesus to the lepers in your head
Did I ask too much, more than a lot
You gave me nothing, now it's all I got.
We're one, but we're not the same.
Well, we hurt each other, then we do it again.

You say love is a temple, love a higher law
Love is a temple, love the higher law.
You ask me to enter, but then you make me crawl
And I can't be holding on to what you got, when all you got is hurt.

One love, one blood, one life, you got to do what you should.
One life with each other: sisters, brothers.
One life, but we're not the same.
We get to carry each other, carry each other.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Sippin' on a Sam Adams Cream Stout (or two!) on a raw, rainy/snowy Sunday evening... and it's been cold this past week! I don't mind it in the fall, it can be kinda nice, a nip in the air (tho' not the rain- yuck.) It's January... and February... and March... and on into April and it's still cold and raw here that sucks! If someone wants to invite me for a weekend getaway to Florida this winter, I'm listening! ;)

If anyone still wants to check out my website you have maybe a week left to do so! Geocities is ending their free web site hosting later this week, meaning my site will no longer be accessible. (Yes, I'm cheap.) I never did as much with it as I would have preferred (I don't believe I've even updated it in months) time constraints- and laziness- being the primary reasons. But it was a good service they offered, for several years. I'll open a Flickr account for any and all pics, past, present, and future, and keep profiles on Yahoo, Facebook, URNA, perhaps a few others... as well as my blog (here!)

A few folks have remarked that I've been sparing in much political commentary recently. This is true, for a few reasons. As anyone who knows me (or has read this blog) knows, I didn't support nor vote for President Obama- his politics are not mine. (This was the first Presidential election that I didn't vote Republican, tho'- I voted Libertarian.) But I've been willing to give Obama time, give him some benefit of doubt, even as I've had differences with his policies and proposals already; I refuse to be like the knee-jerk (emphasis upon jerk) critics of President Bush, who seemingly criticized his every waking breath, blamed almost every ill in the world upon him, almost from the minute he won (yes, won!) the tight Florida vote to win the Presidency back in 2000. Also, while his politics are not mine, I find Obama- as I found Bush- to be a fairly likable, amiable sort. I want to support my President (and unlike the extreme anti-Bush nutjobs, I do consider Obama to be my President, even tho' I didn't vote for him) as best I can. And he did inherit some problems (as every President does.) But it is his baby now, and he will be deserving of criticism as warranted.

A truly dominating performance by my Pats in the snow of Foxboro this afternoon! (It wasn't snowing in Boston, nor @ my mom's, just a few towns away from Foxboro.) 59-0, 600+ yards of offense, obviously a shutout defensively. Nice to see- go Pats! And for any fellow degenerates out here; a so-so week ATS, been grinding out enuf to make a steady profit so far this season, continue to pay some bills, and put a small amount back in my bankroll (need a bigger win, tho'!) College plays: winners Cincinnati -2.5, Pitt -3, Miami -14, UConn -10, Northwestern +14; losers Ohio St. -13, Minnesota +17.5, Va. Tech -3. Pro plays were lackluster: winners NE -9, Carolina -3, GB -14; losers Cincinnati -4.5, NYG +3.5, Seattle -2.5... I hope yours went well!

Sometimes I fear people take what I say too seriously. There are many things in this world that I do take seriously but I'm seldom one of them.

I hadn't done any creative writing in a l-o-n-g time but I've recently started working on a short story, a semi-noirish thriller; still have a ways to go before I'll feel comfortable sharing it, but...

In a recent post I wrote: I'm usually a pretty patient, understanding, caring, and willing-to-give-benefit-of-doubt kinda gal; I just hope that no one confuses my kindness with weakness... A sentiment that bears repeating.

"I used her, she used me/But neither one cared/We were gettin' our share..."

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Middle Cyclone, Neko Case

Baby, why am I worried now,
Did someone make a fool of me
'Fore I could show 'em how it's done?

Can't give up actin' tough,
It's all that I'm made of.
Can't scrape together quite enough
To ride the bus to the outskirts
Of the fact that I need love.

There were times that I tried,
One for every glass of water
That I spilled next to the bed,
Wretching pennies in a boiling well
In a dream that it once becomes
A foundry of mute and heavy bells.
They shake me deaf and dumb
Say, "Someone made a fool of me
'Fore I could show 'em how it's done."

It was so clear to me
That it was almost invisible.
I lie across the path waiting,
Just for a chance to be a spiderweb
Trapped in your lashes.
For that, I would trade you my empire for ashes.
But I choke it back, how much I need love...

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Don't need a whore
I don't need no booze
Don't need a virgin priest
But I need someone
I can cry to
I need someone to protect...
Waiting On A Friend- Rolling Stones

Most everyone wants some luvin', some romance, in their lives- it can be great! But it's even better when it can be something more, something deeper, when there's some shared, mutual affection, care, and respect- call it friendship!- in addition to the luvin'.

That's it on a rainy Wednesday morning (soggy run, too!)

"I'm not waiting on a lady/I'm just waiting on a friend..."

Monday, October 05, 2009

"Leave some tools in your toolbox."- Don Draper.
Good advice.

A friend of mine out West has really been getting back into "the Scene" recently; several outings and events with local T-groups, as well as some forays elsewhere (including the famous/infamous Folsom Street Fair! Not my thing, but...) and a few- more than a few?- dates as well. Good for her! And good for anyone having the courage to do, or simply doing, what they want to do (caveat: as long as it doesn't hurt/impinge upon anyone else.) While sometimes it can be of value (it can serve to keep us from pursuing reckless, dangerous acts, dangerous to ourselves and/or to others) fear can be a paralyzing thing, it can preclude us from pursuing/doing so many things in life, things we want to do, things that can stretch us and help us grow as individuals, things that can bring fulfillment, bring joy, to ourselves and, as applicable, to others. Some fears are clearly irrational- my absolutely paralyzing fear of spiders for instance! Others may be founded in a lack of confidence, an inordinate fear or worry of what others may think, or simply fear of the unknown, the yet-to-be experienced, the different, the new. Beyond my embarrassing arachnophobia, the one other major fear I struggle with is employment-related; seeking new/different employment, fearing that I may jeopardize what I have, fearing that I'm reaching above and beyond my- demonstrable- skill set, experience, etc... Curiously, one area where I've seldom experienced much fear is re. my TGism, or at least my pursuit/s of it. With the exception of employment (which gets back to my stated fear), I've seldom been afraid to go out, meet new people, do and live as much as time and means permit. It's not because I'm under any illusions that I flawlessly "pass"- as I mentioned to a friend recently: "... while I think I'm pretty damn perky and cute (!) I'm well aware that there are more attractive T's than me out there..." Not to mention GGs. Where I'm not too tall (5'6") or too big (anymore!) and I dress age, body, and venue appropriately hopefully I simply blend in enuf not to warrant any obvious attention. But I am aware that fear can be part and parcel of much of the T-world, be it girls nervous about being out and about, admirers fearing being seen with a T, or both fearing facing up to their feelings... Whew!!!

What I'm reading now: Blood's A Rover, James Ellroy (a long one- 656 pages, yikes!)

An outstanding game by the Pats yesterday! A solid win vs. a quality opponent! (I didn't get down on it; had I I would have gone with the Ravens, and I hate to root against the Pats.) And a thoroughly mixed day ATS spread Saturday (up: Pitt -6.5, S. Fla -6.5, Penn St. -6.5, Wisconsin +3; down: Fla. St. -3.5, Purdue -7, NC State +3) became quite profitable Sunday (the Bengals my only play that failed to cover; NO -6.5, NYG -9, SF -9, Denver +3, Pittsburgh -5.5.) Bills are paid for another week! ;) ... As for the guy who said he was betting $10,000 of his house fund on one game; assuming he wasn't BSing, he said he took the Cincinnati Bearcats @ -28 vs. Miami-OH. Final score: UC 37-13 MU. He lost... I've been mulling what someone recently said to me: "You seem too normal for this" (TGism, not sports wagering!) While I- hope!- that I'm not too "drama filled and bitchy"(as another friend described many of the interactions he's had with T's)- I try not to be, anyway- and I believe that overall I keep things on balance and even-keeled, I'm not without my issues and such, where I am/where I'm seeking to go with "this." I've confided some of those concerns with a handful of friends whom I respect, trust, and value their views. I can live with normal... Finally time to get my hair done again. I got the worst cut in years back in June- took almost this long simply to grow out again enuf so that there's something worth cutting...

"And I can play hide and seek with my fears/And live my days instead of counting my years..."

Thursday, October 01, 2009

Shut out the light and lead me
Somewhere - shut out the shadows, too
And while we lay there, makin' believe you love me
Stranger, could I believe in you
- Stranger, Kris Kristofferson

A nippy run this morning! Tweaked my ankle a bit too, ouch. Starting to miss a couple of those holes in the pavement now that it's pitch-dark @ 5:30am... (and what were you doing @ 5:30 this morning, hmmmm???) But still a good one... And a good workout @ the gym this afternoon, too; been feelin' pretty good lately ;)

From the annals of stupid wagering (found on one of the wagering boards I visit:)
I've done OK to start the college football season. My fiancee has come up with a crazy idea. I'm the gambler and she's the conservative one! We have $12,000 in our "house fund". She wants me to pick ONE game this week and bet $10,000 on that game. If we win.... we will buy a house. If we lose, then our house hunting goes on hold until we build it back up. I'm not a huge fan of this idea..... because if we lose it's going to hurt! lol I usually keep within normal bankroll management rules. But it's her idea and I say what the hell! ANYWAY, I'm going to do my own studying. I'll post my pick when I decide what it is. If anyone has a pick for this week that they consider to be a "lock" then please share..... with your reasons. Thanks! Good luck to all!
First, whatever game he picks, I hope he wins! But yikes... The reason more people run into trouble wagering is because of poor money/bankroll management and discipline; without that discipline, wagering becomes simply gambling, risking capital on a whim. There is no such thing as a sure thing. Words to live by! (I'll leave my plays for the weekend out for now.)

I had a friend comment earlier this week that she thought I was looking too thin. I'm not- but thanks sooooooo much, you! The one area I'm always most self-conscious about is my body image; criticize my hair, my clothes/fashion sense, I'm looking older, even tell me I'm not too pretty (actually, don't tell me that!) and I can deal. But make a negative comment about my body and I'm devastated. I'm extremely sensitive about body image issues. Several years ago I weighed a lot more than I do now, and it wasn't "good" weight, either. Beyond battling that "last ten pounds" I've lost and maintained that weight loss for almost a decade now (higher protein/lower carbs works!); I'm not too worried about gaining it again, but because I had been so self-conscious about my body for so long, even now it's still a sensitive subject with me. So be kind!

I know that I've said it countless times here and elsewhere, but it's true- this is my favorite time of year! Autumn in New England makes the winters here almost- almost!- bearable... I'm anticipating a lil downtime the middle of next week- hoping to see a certain someone... This:
Al Qaeda Bombers Learn from Drug Smugglers
New Technique of Storing Bomb Materials Inside Body Cavity Nearly Kills a Saudi Prince
seems appropriate somehow- those savages are a**holes.

"I feel the heat of your frustration/I know it's burnin' you up deep down inside..."