A rainy morning...sometimes I get wondering if I treat people well...I mean, I think I do, its certainly my intent to, but sometimes I wonder if I have a tendency to be self-centered, to look at people only thru, I dunno, a prism of what they do for me...I try not to, as I usually detest self-centered, self-absorbed people; I believe I at least make the effort to focus on and try to be there for those in my life as best I can given my various constraints, their lives and interests and concerns, etc...and I hope I'm sincere in that, I mean to be, I try to be. But its one of those things I wonder about, wonder if I fall short there...the ol' "to see ourselves as others see us" bit I guess...

"Pack up all your dishes/Make note of all good wishes/Say goodbye to the landlord for me/Sons of bitches always bore me..."

Well, I didn't make it up to Cape Ann last week to see my friend after all. I was pretty disappointed, but it was one of those days where we just kept missing each other and weren't able to firm up plans. Hopefully soon!...I'm TRYING to make/find a lil more time for others, for people and things important to me; life is too short (and too important!) to spend in total tunnel vision, narrowly focused only on the day-to-day. It's not being irresponsible or careless, but realizing there are are other things that deserve a response as well (namely, a lil bit of happiness, fun, enjoyment, sharing time, etc...) Anyway...the Pats are off to a pretty impressive start (2-0, with convincing W's over the "Stillers", and the Jersey Jets!), today brings the Chiefs- go Pats!

"Have I doubt when I'm alone/Love is a ring, the telephone..."

Had a VERY nice evening last night! Met a very special friend for a few drinks, "Slapshot" trivia, comparing alma maters (but how can a school in Newton be called "Boston" College?! :), and more...It was just so nice to finally have a nite out again, especially with pleasant, enjoyable company, it had been soooooo long, things just haven't clicked much recently to allow me to do so (this midweek is probably the longest down/free time I've had since, maybe March? Yikes!), I really needed that...thanx T! :) And I'm hoping to make a daytrip up to Cape Ann tomorrow and visit another good friend up there...I've never spent much time up there, usually down at the "other" Cape...but soon enuf, it'll be back to the old routine- oh well!

"Am I dreamin', or stupid?/I think I've been hit by Cupid/But no one needs to know right now..."

It was a beautiful September morning. I was standing in line at a market and I heard the cashier mention to someone in front of me that a plane had crashed into one of the World Trade towers in New York and I was thinking that when I got home (I wasn't working that day) I'd have to flip on one of the news channels to check it out, assuming that it was some small private craft. I got home and saw live coverage of the two towers on fire interspersed with taped footage of the initial impacts and was mesmerized, it hardly seemed real, more like a supercharged Hollywood thriller than real life. I couldn't have been watching for more than ten minutes when the first tower collapsed, and the other tower, what, twenty or so minutes later and I was just stunned, not even angry yet but more just completely stunned, stunned by the images, stunned by the loss of innocent lives, later watching as President Bush, Mayor Giuliani, and other officials tried to begin to craft a response out of chaos, and in the initial days and weeks that followed was struck by the seeming coming together of our nation, our petty and sometimes not-so-petty differences paling beside the stronger and more important commonalities we share as a people, as Americans. Over the succeeding months this unity has frayed a bit, and in one sense maybe this is a good thing, it shows that we are beginning to get back "to normal" and a people, a nation as diverse as us is bound to have significant disagreements, over many things. But at the end of the day, one hopes that we can still focus just a bit on what we share, that "it" we have, that America has, that the forces of evil and intolerance around the world envy and despise and wish to bring down to their level and destroy. My own feelings and emotions mean nothing compared to those who lost loved ones one year ago today, and they should be remembered in our thoughts and prayers. I've always had a pretty good love and appreciation for what America is; that wasn't a lesson I took from last year. I had hoped that I might gain a little better appreciation for the fleeting nature of life and be more willing, more open to going after what is important in life, not getting so caught up in the routine, the day-to-day, not just for me but as a small way to remember, to honor, those who lost that opportunity last September 11. I can't say I've honored them as much as I'd have hoped. They deserve better.

"O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave/O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?"

I was listening to an interview with Tom Brady this am (what a poised, steady person, BTW), and he was talking about the mindset he came to adopt while dealing with early frustration at Michigan, the way he came to view challenges, adversity, etc...not as obstacles or punishments, but rather as opportunities to excel and shine; instead of looking at a situation and thinking of all the reasons why he couldn't achieve, instead he came to look at them as chances to truly show what he was made of and what he could do (he expressed it better than this!) Given what he did with about 1:21 last February 3 in New Orleans, I'd say it worked for him! And it's nothing revolutionary to him, many of us have heard this before, but it made an impact on me today. Too often, we can let ourselves become overwhelmed with "reasons" why we "can't" do or achieve things important to us rather than looking upon them as challenges to strengthen us and opportunities to shine- maybe its fear, maybe its laziness, but there's SO much more out there, and our biggest limitations are often self-imposed. I have to learn!

"So if you're down on your luck, and you can't harmonize/Find a girl with faraway eyes..." (I heard some singing group is starting their world tour here tonite?! ;)

September 1st...where DID the summer go?! I love fall, tho'...well, looks like baseball didn't strike, good to see! But I'm ready for some football ;) I have some other thoughts, on other things, but I think I'll hold off 'til I get 'em just a little more clear (but I DO hope a certain someone has been able to come to a job decision- sorry I wasn't able to be of much help :( And I have had two lessons learned yet again: 1, I CANNOT drink like I used to (a GOOD thing!); 2, DO NOT drink on an empty stomach (a BAD thing...ouch! ;)

"She's a summer lover in the spring, fall, and winter/She can make any man alive..."