Been getting in some GREAT runs recently, have felt REALLY good! Been able to get my mileage back up to 7 or so miles/morning, 5-6X/week (weather permitting!) even ran this morning (I usually take Sundays off from working out) and it was nice enuf out to wear shorts again for a change, not too cold (this was before it rained- poured, actually!- later in the day.) Those extra Thanskgiving calories are gonna go away if I have anything to say about it! ;)
Hadda go to a wake this afternoon down where I grew up. A friend of mine from high school's mother passed away over the weekend; she was always a very sweet woman. Wakes are perhaps some of the most difficult events to attend; finding the right things to say to people who are grieving while not trying to be too bothersome, or maudlin. And it was sad also because my friend's mother reminds me in many ways of my own mom, and the thought of her mortality is something I prefer not to have to confront, yet the passing of someone close to her in age, background, etc... made me give pause to that. Sadly, I hadn't seen either my friend nor any of the rest of his family in a number of years, and except for him, none of 'em recognized me at first, as the years, as well as changes in my appearance, apparently have made a difference. I felt- and feel- bad about that, the years thing. Over the last several years now I have let so many longtime friendships drift; not due to any disagreements, arguments, etc....but rather due to my simply not having, taking, or making, adequate time to sustain them, and/or differing life priorities, lifestyles, etc...(many/most of 'em married w/ kids, while I, obviously, am not.) I am one who appreciates tradition, the time-honored, loyalties, old ties, those sorts of things, and it causes me more than a little discomfort when I realize that my "real" falls so short of my "ideal" in terms of how I honor those things. Sometimes I think perhaps I place too much emphasis upon them; I don't like to believe I am stuck in/a slave to, the past, my past, but there may be more than a little truth to that. I sometimes marvel at people who seem to be able to re-create themselves almost at will; even more, those who easily seem able to embrace bold, new, exciting futures and destinies while retaining ties to the best of their pasts, and casting off those things that, tho' part of them, no longer fit. But while I marvel and admire much of that, at the same time part of my thinks it is the height of selfishness, putting aside long-held and once-cherished things, be they friendships, careers, lifestyles, beliefs, or ideas, for seemingly "selfish" reasons.
Ack...a rainy nite, and I think too much.
"So I went from day to day/Tho' my life was in a rut/'Til I thought of what I'd say/Which connection I should cut..."