A lil while back I had made an entry about how it seemed as if half the people I know were angry with and/or avoiding me. This turned out to be not the case...with one notable exception, someone whom I had grown to care quite a bit for and about.

I'm not sure how I come across exactly, but at times I can be quite insecure. When things seem to go badly, I tend to blame myself, see them as a result of some failing on my part. And perhaps above all else, I have a problem with and when things seem to be unresolved- I don't like to leave things hanging, I like to bring things to resolution, to fulfillment, to closure, as often as is possible. Anyway...this one person just completely left me hanging, completely blew me off, not even showing me the decency, the courtesy, to respond to my- not obsessive, but friendly and good natured- emails, IM's, and the odd phone call. Nothing. And as such, as I did care for this person quite a bit, I got to wondering whether: A- something was majorly wrong in their life; B- I had done something majorly wrong to alienate them.

So, after like 3 weeks, I finally get a brief IM from this person, with a tepid apology of sorts for not getting back to me. No explanation given, not much in the way of consideration or appreciation for my hurt feelings. And even more, that was it- no follow-up, nothing! And this was a person I was quite close to for a good 2+ years, as close as I had been to almost anyone. And this isn't me being obsessive or bitchy- this person made numerous faux pas toward me, but I was always quick to overlook them because I figured they weren't intentional, and also making allowances for this person's- how to put it?- less-than-stellar social graces at times. Hey, I'm a fairly easy-goin' kinda gal, I don't demand perfection...only consideration, "doing unto others" as it were...But to just completely ignore me and then offer the weakest of explanations- that just shows an utter lack of manners, of consideration. So if you're reading this...in the words of Patty Smyth and Scandal...

"Goodbye to you/Goodbye to you..."

(Ah...I feel better! :)

Random thoughts on an early Sunday evening while wondering what is to become of the guy who held Michael Jackson's umbrella throughout the trial! (Really- that poor guy, they made the same guy hold Michael's silly umbrella EVERY day. What? they couldn't switch off? The end of the day, that guy must've caught a heaping helping of abuse from the rest of the team!)

Michael...well, he got off (um, maybe I oughtta rephrase that!) Maybe he even didn't do anything wrong with that particular child. But...apart from the obvious (what is 40 year old man doing in bed with ANY child not his own?!) what parent, especially given earlier allegations re. Michael's, um, "affection" for young boys, would let their child stay with him unsupervised? One hopes Michael, and any and all parents, will have learned their lesson, but it is also well-documented that people with that "prediliction" seldom overcome it without a LOT of help, therapy, observation, etc...

I have a good friend who is going thru a little rough stretch of late, having had a bit of a run-in with the law, and feeling pretty low about it. I can relate, having had my own run-in a couple of years back...her offense was simply one of omission- basically, pinched for failing to take care of some administrative/registration issues. But this, on top of a bit of a rough stretch in other ways, has her feeling pretty low. She's a good person, not a b*tch as- sadly- many folks can be, a woman with a good heart and good intent who simply made an error of omission. Keep your chin up, you- tough times never last, but tough people do! ;)

Another good friend has made a tremendous start toward her weight loss goals this year! She has quite a bit she wants to lose (don't we all?!) and she's stuck with it, made fantastic progress so far...WTG, C! ;)

I have yet another good friend- actually, my best friend, period- who is getting married the beginning of next month. He and his wife-to-be live out on the West Coast, and they're just having a very simple ceremony, but he's one of my very last friends to pull the pin, as it were (his bride is 10 years his junior, woohoo! :) WTG, Big Ed!

You ever see someone become increasingly angry, increasingly strident, increasingly radicalized, to the point of obsession, in their politics and much of their world view in general, and you wonder why? I have a very good, long-time friend whom I've seen this beginning to happen to, and it's troubling, the level of anger, of almost hatred, exhibited toward those who do not share this person's view.

Don't get me wrong- everyone is entitled to their opinions, and entitled to offer them strongly, to advocate forcefully and passionately for what they believe is good and right and just. I have my views, and I can be quite adamant in them and, owing both to where I live and to my TGism, many times these views put me at odds with the prevailing orthodoxy. So be it. And I have no problems with those whose views differ, so long as: A- their views are reasonably well-informed; B- they do not automatically assume the worst of intent of those who disagree. It is this "B" that I've begun to see my friend lose sight of, not merely disagreeing with the policies and proposals and perspectives of those who differ, but impugning their motives, their intent, as if those who differ are guided by evil intent. This is the kind of mindset that, for instance decries what they would describe as hateful rhetoric by Republicans, but cheer on the ravings of Howard Dean as speaking truth. Or will decry commingling of religion and politics, yet have no problem with, say, the Rev. Al Sharpton, or the Rev. Jesse Jackson, running for office, attempting to influence social policy, etc...In the words of that LA "motorist," "Can't we all just get along?" ;)

"And all the miles and all the footsteps going' down/Ain't a how I keep a count/For every lonely stretch/For I just kept on for keepin' on..."

Odds and ends...or odd ends...or sumthin'! ;)

Summer has finally arrived with a vengeance here in New England- about time! It seems like we had maybe two days of spring at the very end of May (which was a long, gray damp...and COLD month!) then- BOOM!- right into summer! I'm luvin' it! While fall has always been my favorite season, more and more I've been becoming a summer-loving gal. Been working on my tan (have a pretty good one going, even given what little time I usually have to work on it) now I just have to make some time to show it off!

Speaking of summer and warm weather, what I've been having the last several nights is a frosty oil can of Foster's! I hadn't had Foster's ("Australian for beer, mate!") in a few years now, just something I hadn't thought to pick up, but a really great hot weather beer, goes down icy cold, smooth...one big can of that before bed and sleep comes a bit easier, even in hot, humid weather ;)

Another thing I've been drinking of late is Diet Mountain Dew. (Don't go "ewwwwww!"- it's good!) I'm not typically a big soda drinker- more often I'll have diet iced tea, or water- and for the longest time my soda of choice was Diet Vanilla Coke, but I'm Doin' the Dew now!

Not that it matters, but one of the most, if not ominous certainly countercultural rock songs ever is Jefferson Airplane's "White Rabbit" (played ad nauseum on oldies stations.) With its staccato, martial-style drumbeat and barely-veiled drug references, it's not difficult to understand how parents back then might've found rock to be a sinister influence, the "flower power" message hiding something less wholesome, less savory. (And is it true Grace Slick named one of her kids God? God Slick?! Yikes...)

Speaking of drugs, the recent SCOTUS decision re. medical marijuana usage. I believe I've indicated elsewhere throughout this blog my thoughts on the so-called "War on Drugs" (in short- I disagree, a foolish waste of law enforcement time and resources.) The fascinating part of the decision wasn't so much the opinion but the dissent, or more precisely, which justices dissented, namely Sandra Day O'Connor (who wrote the dissenting opinion,) Clarence Thomas, and Chief Justice William Rehnquist, none of whom has been accused of being amongst the more liberal members of the bench (save- sometimes- O'Connor, as a swing vote.) No, they didn't come out in favor of marijuana, but they did- rightly, and IMO, Rightly- properly recognize the issues of federalism involved in the case (basically, SCOTUS majority ruled that fed drug laws trump state laws, citing a convoluted rendering of Commerce Clause powers; these three disagreed re. the particulars of this case.) As is often the case, making generalizations based upon- perceived- biases and characterizations of individuals involved proves foolish. Or better put...one should never assume, because when you ASSUME, you make an ASS out of U and ME!

"Feed your head..."

Some utterly gratuitous whining (or...it's my blog and I can b*tch if I want to! :)

The weather. May was horrible, one of the coldest months of May (is that better, Orest?! ;) on record here in Boston. I hated this May with a white-hot passion! But my current complaint- is it asking too much to wake up to a SUNNY morning?! Every @#$%ing morning, I get up, and it's gray...and cool...and usually a lil damp. Yes, it usually clears off by, oh, 2 in the afternoon! But it is soooooooooooo depressing to wake up every morning, to try and drag out for an early morning run, and have it be gray, overcast skies and cool, damp air. We only get a few months of nice weather in New England as it is- we lost one of 'em last month...I'm beggin' ya, please- send us some sunny days, from start to finish!

My cold. This damn thing has lingered for over a week now. GRRRRR! It's just enuf to make me feel blah, not enuf now to stay home under the covers, but just a low-grade, nagging thing that doesn't seem to want to quit. Go away! (And I'm almost always a pretty healthy gal, colds and such- even if I get 'em- seldom hang on as long as this one has.)

"Should of..." People, please...it is not, nor should ever be, "should of..." (nor "would of...," could of"..., etc...) Yes, a very picky thing, the grammarian in me coming out...You "should have... (or "would have... " "could have... ") done whatever. Or, to use the contraction, "should've," "would've," "could've"...but never "should of." A completely anal, bitchy thing, I know! But still...

It is telling how so often, so many people, ones who would be the first to tout how tolerant and open-minded and accepting they are, see no hypocrisy in their stereotyping of people they disagree with or find "different" from themselves based upon the most extreme and- admittedly- ugly behavior of some amongst a particular group or culture. I've seen and heard and read these comments countless places- people who would never dare cast aspersions upon, say, black folks in general due to the actions of an OJ, or upon, say, transsexuals based on the antics of nitwit TS's on programs such as the Springer show, or illegal- excuse me, "undocumented"- aliens based upon the crimes committed by some, etc...yet they gleefully will castigate, criticize, and/or condemn with scurillous slurs and comments oh, I dunno, social conservatives as intolerant haters based upon the antics of some, fans of certain sports, gun owners- or simply Southerners- as rednecks, businessmen (but not women! ;) as greedy predators...you know the drill! Blanket judgments of anyone, and of anyone's views, motives, etc...because some who claim to share those views engage in unacceptable behavior or conduct, speaks as much to the closed-mindedness and intolerance of the person making those judgments as to any real complaint about the person- or group- in question. What does it say in the Bible, something to the effect of "remove the log from one's own eye before attempting to remove the speck in another's?"

Political correctness run amok, part... Recently a college near where I grew up decided to change the name of it's sports teams. This is in part due to an NCAA edict directing it's members to reconsider their names, mascots, logos, etc...lest they be considered offensive to, mostly, American Indians. Now, I don't have a problem with patently racist, derogatory, or offensive names, mascots, etc...being jettisoned. "Savages," "Redmen" (UMass changed their name from "Redmen" to "Minutemen" 30+ years ago) and the like deserve to be retired. (The NFL team in our nation's capital would do well to reconsider it's name as well.) But many names that reference American Indians, whether by specific tribe, or whatever, are named because the schools wish their teams to emulate the best attributes of those peoples, or to honor the local Native Americans: "Braves," "Warriors," "Chieftains," "Fighting Illini," "Seminoles," etc...these are almost always depicted as proud, courageous, strong, noble people, folks to emulate, not to denigrate. (In certain cases these are not always names exclusive to American Indians- in the case of "Chieftains," for instance, this name could just as easily reference Irish chieftains, somewhat apropos for a suburban Catholic college with a student body populated by many Irish-Americans.) Which I suppose brings this to its denouement- if these names are considered derogatory and potentially offensive, what about that evil stereotype still being perpetrated upon the nation's collegiate sports scene by a school in northern Indiana, castigating an entire ethnic group that once faced fierce oppression and discrimination in our land as a brawling, garrulous race populated by little men in funny suits? "Fighting Irish?!" How dare Notre Dame! ;)

"You're my blue sky, you're my sunny day..."