"Callahan is the one constant in an ever-changing universe," from the film Sudden Impact.
Oftentimes I feel as if I am, or at least am expected to be, that one constant in the lives of so many I know- family, long-time friends, etc... be the same person I was 15, 20, 25 years or more ago. Some of it is probably me- the changes in my life that most of those people are aware of are relatively small compared to the changes in theirs (unlike most/all of them, I'm not married, I have no children, I don't own a home in the 'burbs, many of my interests, hobbies, attitudes, beliefs, etc... are largely the same as they were back when.) As friends and/or longtime readers of this can attest I tend to be a pretty conventional, traditionalist type of person. And there is something to be said for stability, dependability, being rooted. I've had an on-going conversation with a friend whose POVs I value and trust re. my moving ever more forward with "this." What she pointed out- and there probably is some truth to it- is that I tend to be too selfless toward what I want, what I need, for greater fulfillment in life, instead remaining too focused upon being, as she put it "a people-pleaser and enabler," and that it seems I tend to hold off on my goals or dreams to make others happy. I have difficulty wrapping myself around that second part- to me it smacks of selfishness. I'm less concerned with personal disappointment or failure than I am with disappointing or failing others, those I care most for and about. She also pointed out that "more people either know or have a sense then you realize. The combination of your deportment and life tells them things..." re. "this." (I still work as a male, and still maintain a male persona for/with certain relationships.) It's that part that generated my thoughts on this- wondering what, or how, those who seem to view me as that one constant square that with some of the obvious changes (in appearance, deportment, dating habits, and more) that are evident... Or maybe I just think too much!
Anyway... beer of the evening: Boston Beer Works Fenway Pale Ale- They've started bottling some of their products (the Fenway brewpub is still the best, tho'!)... A very good friend of mine is winding down his vacation- some time spent down in Florida as well as several days back up in New England- a hectic day for him Friday, dealing with some stuff- this one is for you, you! :)
The 4th of July is quickly approaching- where did the first half of this year go?! The last few months have gotten away from me quite a bit- lotta stuff to do/deal with re. my Mom (with about another month or so at least, but the ultimate prognosis looks extremely good!) I have plans to head up to Maine over the long weekend to visit my brother/his family; I haven't been up there in a lil while. So unless something unexpected comes up... And come August or so I'm hoping to find/make/take a lil extended me time- no work/family obligations, what the rest of the world calls "vacation!"
10 on shuffle...
Brimful of Asha, Fatboy Slim
All Day, Lisa Loeb
Sunday Girl, Blondie
I Want Candy, Bow Wow Wow
With This Ring, The Platters
Just My Imagination, Rolling Stones
Going Down To Liverpool, The Bangles
Touch And Go, The Cars
She Really Wants You, Aimee Mann
Havana Daydreamin', Jimmy Buffett
"Spillin' wine and sharin' good times/She sure could make him smile..."
